is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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