So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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