dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
