And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
