ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
