Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I want a musical about memes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
