I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
