So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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