I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
my poor anus
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
