I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I looked at my own cervix.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
