She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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