party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
