I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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