Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize