Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
