So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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