so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
