could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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