you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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