bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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