I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
