The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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