sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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