I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
