what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
