There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
