...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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