rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
