what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
