My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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