Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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