I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
