Heybabeimwearingurpanties
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Randomize
