The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
