She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
