so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
