i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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