I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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