so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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