she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
