I'll bet she douches with gravy.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
