also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
