That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
