My hand turned me down
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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