if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Randomize