I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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