Betty ford says i'm here all night
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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