the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
