Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
