forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I want a musical about memes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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