mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
True college students do jello shots in the library
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
