Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
