I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
