Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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