I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
