after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
