thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
