we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
